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Welcome to the Rofling Officer Productions blog, where you will mainly find extremely cynical reviews by a British Stereotype (usually with my good friend, John Smith). These reviews will most often be of games and films, but also have a few little projects.

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Monday, 4 October 2010

House MD: Season 7 Opener

House MD. I think the only thing more overrated than this TV show is Modern Warfare 2. This TV show has gotten rave reviews from critics all over the world, but I'm left thinking simply: "What the fuck is this shit? How is this so popular?" etc etc.

Almost every episode I've seen is just tedious and often boring. Boredom is a massive part of this show. The medical team are discussing what could be wrong with a guy (Blonde bitch thinks infection, Generic Black Guy thinks Lupus, while Annoying Australian Fuck agrees with House), meanwhile I'm led on my sofa, eyelids getting heavy...

Even the most "exciting" parts quickly become gratuitous and sleep-provoking. In every single episode the patient crashes. Seriously, every episode. It's like the sight of all the annoying fucks on House's team is enough for their heart to stop.

I watched House for a while. Mainly Season 4 and parts of 5 and 6. The rest I've only seen smippets of. I really liked Season 4. Back then I had only seen about 3 episodes of the show, thanks to John Smith's raving about it (it being his favourite show). I borrowed his DVD of Season 4 and watched all of it. It was great, I loved some of the storylines and the finale was fucking amazing.

It didn't last. Season 5 wasn't too bad, I liked the finale, not a patch on the Season 4 ending, but still good enough to get a smiley face from me... :). Season 6. The biggest piece of shit I've seen since the local cesspool exploded next to the blocked up sewers. That's a bit harsh, the season opener was alright. But from there it span out of control, going around and around like a paranoid helicopter. In one episode early in the season Annoying Australian Fuck kills an evil dictator. At the time I thought oh right, this sounds quite good, it had the potential to be a good and interesting storyline. The House writers don't seem to realise that it storyline isn't made good by how long it is. Fucking hell, the whole Lesbian Fatal Disease Woman and Generic Black Guy love story was dragged out for AN ENTIRE SEASON. WHO CARES!? It's the same thing with this. "I killed him." "OMG MURDERER!" 10 episodes later: "I killed the evil dictator a few months ago." "OMG MURDERER!", then cut to a shot of my on my sofa: "Ah fuck off."

That was the last episode of House I ever watched. When I heard about the new season of House I had no intention of watching it. What changed my mind was the hilariously bad story involving House and Cuddy falling in love. WHO WANTS TO WATCH HOUSE HAPPY AND LOVED UP?! What made House good for about one season was the fact that House was a grumpy old get with no bedside manner, so this "happy" thing will never work, never in a million years.

I watched the episode and I thought it was the best piece of entertainment on a screen since my favourite movie of all time; Meet the Spartans (That scene where all the spartans dance around for 15 minutes was fucking awesome). The episode had a love story in it that took up the entire episode, but there were some parts where the writers seemed to have a brief moment of self realisation and realised that what they're writing is bullshit worthy of a large bull with a bad diet, so the actors try to take the mick out of the storyline.

I don't want to write anymore, so I'll just give my opinion.

The season opener of House Season 7 was a pile of shit so high it makes the Burj Dubai look like a toothpick standing on it's end. Truly awful, the worst thing on TV since the premiere of the Middle last month.

0.5/10. I'm completely serious.

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