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Welcome to the Rofling Officer Productions blog, where you will mainly find extremely cynical reviews by a British Stereotype (usually with my good friend, John Smith). These reviews will most often be of games and films, but also have a few little projects.

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Wednesday, 31 October 2012

The Beyond Stupid Halloween Scare’athon (Inc. Costume Quest Rant + 2 Videos)

Originally uploaded on John's Blog, reuploaded here. Happy Halloween!

Jooseman: Hello and welcome to mine, Jooseman, and the Rofling Officer annual scare’athon (that is what I will call it, and don’t even complain about false advertising) for this year’s Halloween, even though Halloween is about as exciting to me as eating burnt toast. I get scared way too easily to even celebrate Halloween by doing anything of note, hell I got scared by My Little Pony, no Mr Unicorn, don’t shove your horn there... Ahem, where was I? Ah yes, so this year we both decided to do our own thing, with him playing two games and recording them, including SCP Containment Breach, and me playing and writing a rant about the Tim Schafer game, Costume Quest, because I backed out. Now sit down with your nice mug of cocoa around the fire while watching Simpsons, Treehouse of Horror episodes and read this. Unless you take inspiration from Jimmy Savile, in which case, sit by the, door, watching and waiting. (Topical Jokes, I’ll be here until Monday)
Costume Quest
Jooseman: Costume Quest is essentially a Halloween Trick or Treat, Role Playing Game made by Tim Schafer, who made games that would make even the most amateur point and click fan have to change his pants because they are so wet with Semen. Not me, however, because I have a hatred for point and click in general, and was pretty happy to find this wasn’t such a game. In this game you have to select a child (Insert Jimmy Savile joke here again) and then you go around Trick or Treating with them until your sibling gets kidnapped by a guy who looks like Mr Toad got fucked by an Orc. You then set off on a mission to get him back, collecting other costumes to fight in along the way, like a really bad fashion designer.
And now onto the combat, which feels about as satisfying as masturbating with sandpaper, except not as painful. It is your standard, Turn Based RPG affair, like Final Fantasy and the like, which I find really annoying, and harder to get right than recreating the Sistine Chapel with cheese. It involves quickly pressing buttons which I apparently lack the skill to do properly and constantly get it wrong because of this. Now to bring it back to the costumes, each costume has different powers in combat, as well as different powers to move around, such as the first Robot suit, being able to Roller-skate, which sounds like an amazing power, up there with being able to massage a cat.
Anyway, the art style now, which is ridiculously nice. It all has a nice, cartoon feel to it, which is actually a style I enjoy in games, including things such as World of Warcraft. You don’t need amazing graphics in order for the developers to get off at night, all you need is something as nice looking as this. Anyway, this has suddenly got too nice again, so fuck shit balls cunt burger. Still would rather play this than any of the horror games people like to play at Halloween.
And now, that is my short Halloween Rant over. Now for something completely different, here is a dog riding a Unicycle (Imagine it yourself, you uncreative fucks)

Rofling Officer




 

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